The Rules

Some people insist upon being iconoclasts, and thank goodness for them. It takes a lot of energy to constantly struggle against the grain.

Society has rules, even though we may not always agree.

Some can be fought, if one toils tirelessly over the course of a lifetime. A lone rebel can hope to make a pinprick in the fiber of society and to organize other rebels enough to make a hole that changes rules permanently.

But, if you are not one of these energetic souls, prepared for a lifetime of swimming upstream, I would encourage you to learn the rules and to figure out how to win the game. Ultimately, it is a lot more fun to win than it is to fight.

So why not spend your time most efficiently, figuring out what it is that you want, and then how to get there, within the normal constraints of societal rules?

For example, if you want to be taken seriously as a professional, you have to do several things consistently:
1) show up to work early
2) work harder and smarter than everybody else
3) stay current on relevant events in your industry
4) look the part
5) take initiative and do things that are above and beyond the requirements of your job
6) pay the utmost attention to detail
7) respect your coworkers at all levels

Alternatively, you could determine that you want to coast at work, occasionally call in sick (or hungover), surf the internet, send too many personal emails, and then complain to your friends that you never get promoted and earn less money than your peers. That is the path that most people take. Why not consider trying for the same success, but following the conventional rules?

Another example:
If you want to find romantic love that lasts, you must:
1) be a complete, whole person on your own
2) eliminate any unappealing, compulsive behaviors, like substance abuse, overeating, sloth, annoying habits, neediness
3) be appealing in appearance and manner
4) attract a person to you
5) eliminate prospects that are not interested in you so that you can spend time finding people who are interested

The most difficult rule is 4, but it is, alas, the cold harsh reality. You can be the sweetest, most likeable human being that you can, but if you cannot attract somebody to you, then you haven't accomplished much. You can also think that you are worthy of a certain sort of person, but yet you never succeed in attracting this type of person.

Spend some time thinking about what it is you want out of life, and then analyze the most typical path for achieving this success.

You could reinvent the wheel and be the lone woman to find a man who doesn't mind a faint mustache and dirty clothes. Or, you could just follow the rules, and watch success fall in your lap.

If you are hoping for a gorgeous, rich, charismatic man, then history would teach us that your odds are best if you are an attractive, fit, young, sexy, interesting woman.

It isn't impossible to make things happen, but we're fortunate enough that we can review the successes of our forefathers and figure out how to get where we want to be.

There is no reason to be lost or confused.

If you aren't on track to get what you want, then you aren't doing something right. That is Darwinism pure and simple.

The world rewards those who master the system.

We all make our own luck.